Alternate
by The Sacred and Profane
Summary: Reno finds himself faced with strange versions of the world and his girlfriend. Reno/Yuffie oneshot for koalababay.


Alternate

AN: I own nothing in this story. This is for koalababay so enjoy! Please R&R.

Reno didn't know where he was. The last thing he remembered was falling asleep, Yuffie's arms wrapped around his. Then he had woken up and he found himself in a hallway, lockers stretching to the horizon. Taking a few breaths, he tried to remain calm. He was obviously in a school of some kind.

"Hey Reno! Like, how's it goin'?" Reno turned around at the familiar voice and saw Yuffie. His eyes widened when he saw the cheerleading outfit she had on. Her hair was also really long now and frizzy. A pink bubble expanded from Yuffie's lips and she popped it easily.

"Yuffie...where are we?"

"We're in school, like, duh." Apparently she was also a bit of ditz. Looking down at himself, Reno saw that he was wearing a football uniform.

"School...right..."

"Think fast!" Reno heard from behind him. A football smashed into his head then and the world went black.

The next time Reno opened his eyes, he was in bed. Sighing in relief, he sat up. It was then that he felt a weird weight on his chest.

"Good morning Rena, sleep well?" A deep voice asked from Reno's side.

"Yuffie?!" Reno asked, taking in the sight of her, well him would be more accurate now. Yuffie as a man was lithe and his hair was still in that short cut it always was. He smiled at Reno and stroked his cheek.

"That's my name, Rena, don't wear it out."

"Rena? But I'm..." Reno looked down then and saw the breasts sprouting from his normally flat chest.

"Sexy, I know Rena," Yuffie replied with a grin, a hand groping Reno's butt. Giving a feminine yelp, Reno toppled out of bed, rushing towards the bathroom. Once inside he locked the door and looked at his reflection in the mirror. Staring back at him with startled eyes was a drop dead gorgeous woman. Reno, or Rena as she was known now, still had Reno's pale skin and crescent scars. That was were the similarities ended. Long red hair rivaling Tifa's flowed down her back and her breasts had to be at least a D cup. Staring down, she saw her hips were wide and her toenails were painted red.

"I'm hot..." Rena remarked, returning her gaze to her reflection.

"Rena, are you okay?"

"Yeah, just had a bad dream," Rena replied. As she opened the door, Yuffie decided to kiss her full on the lips. Even as a male though, Yuffie's innate clumsiness caused her aim to falter, resulting in Rena landing hard on the floor, knocked out.

"Reno, are you alright?" Yuffie's voice asked, seemingly far away. Opening his eyes, he felt a warmth underneath his body. Looking down, he saw that he was in a giant palm.

"Yuffie, were are you?"

"Where I always am Reno, above you." Looking up, Reno saw Yuffie's face. A face that was as big as a parking lot to Reno. Her eyes bore into his and she smiled down at him.

"Um...you're a giant." Yuffie giggled then, the sound nearly knocking Reno off his feet.

"No, I'm normal sized. It's you males that are tiny. You are okay, aren't you?"

"I think so."

"Good, we're going shopping today, remember?"

"Oh yeah..." Reno said.

When they reached the shopping mall, Reno saw a giant Tifa with a shrunken Cloud perched on her shoulder. Beside her was another woman Reno had never seen before.

"Tifa, Minerva, how are you?" Yuffie asked.

"Great, ready to go shopping?" Tifa replied. Yuffie nodded and soon the three started talking. Reno was next to Cloud as they were carried by their respective lovers.

"So how did this happen?" Reno asked.

"How did what happen?" Cloud replied.

"Giant women and tiny men, what the hell is that about?"

"Reno, the world has always been like this." Before Reno could ask any more questions though, he heard a soft voice quoting a line from a poem he never wanted to hear again.

"Though the morrow be barren of promises, nothing shall forestall my return."

"Genesis, how are you?" Cloud asked the red clothed Loveless fanatic.

"Happy as ever. Minerva is a Goddess."

"Um...sure. So where's Sephiroth?" Reno asked. As soon as he uttered that name though, Cloud and Genesis shook their heads sadly.

"He's still hasn't found a woman. Poor guy..." Cloud said.

"What are you guys talking about?" Yuffie's voice interrupted their conversation then and Reno found himself being lifted up to her face along with Cloud and Genesis.

"Sephiroth, babe." Reno answered. The three giant women shook their heads in pity at his name.

"Did you hear he even asked Aerith out on a date? Zack was furious and Aerith nearly stepped on him." Minerva said loudly. She tried to lower her voice but it was too late, the three men had been knocked out.

Reno felt something poking him in the side. Mako infused eyes opened slowly, a bit worried about what he would find. Yuffie was looking at him with a worried expression.

"You okay Reno? You were tossing and turning- but whatever Yuffie was going to say next was cut off as her boyfriend hugged her.

"You're normal! You're not giant or a man and I'm not a woman." Yuffie returned the hug, patting him on the back a little.

"That's the last time you're drinking any of Cid's homemade liquor," she said.

"I don't care, you're you and I'm me and the world's back to the way it should be." Amid his joy Reno didn't notice Yuffie's tail wagging back and forth under the sheets or the fact that she was purring.


End file.
